sweet leaaaaaaf
i feel so effed up right now. i know i should be happy.
ACK that word doesnt even feel right! ><
I feel so frustrated. How can i like someone only after a while? and get jealous right away when i myself made it clear im not supposed to feel anything like as close to LIKE! Oh jasey rae, what have you done to yourself? First you seem to want to help, now you dont. you want something more than that…but you know full well you cant. nor will you ever get anything anyway.
I decide to stop, but i dont anyway! what is up with this kind of thinking! Ya, JASEY RAE! make up your mind, araso?! Stop fooling around with your mind. You know it cant promise you anything so why feel like there is something to hope for? Ya, wakey-wakey! x/ Youre bound to get hurt one way or another. because youre getting close. and you cant just veer away because its trouble for you. why dont you choose to stay close but clear on? why cant you feel indifferent about this? it is clearly trouble for you, for him and for the rest of humanity..so since you cant stop being friends now…just stop thinking beyond it. you know better. you know you cant hold onto this for so long. since its only been a while..try to act like it really only has been a while. and maybe youd stop thinking too much. youre gonna get out of this dilemma soon. know that you dont need to rush. no one will rush nor should rush you. you are your own. God prolly will explain that THE ONE crap you no longer believe in. so i guess thats something to hope for? im not sure but..better that than this.
Oh wow, talking to myself even in blog now. :o
Ya, JASEY RAE—START WAKIN UP!! otherwise ill bitchslap you right.
xx
2 years ago